How to deal with negative answers and obtain value from them?

We are the result of our education, our environment and the people around us. Society, the way we were raised and traditional education invite us to think that the goal of everything we do and everything we ask is to always have a “YES” for an answer.

The traditional educational system doesn´t encourage trial and error, demonize failure and doesn’t allow experimentation, doubt or curiosity among students.

We are educated to believe that there are no second chances, and that we must have a binary mentality (to believe that the only options are black or white, and that the only acceptable color is white), to believe that black is a dangerous zone. That is why we grow up with fear of failure, with the fear of people saying “NO” to us.

Because we grow up with this natural fear to “NO” as an answer, we don’t take chances and don’t dare to ask questions. We don’t know what we are missing.

Reality is very different. The good things, the important things, are the result of iteration and experimentation processes. Great things come from a lot of mistakes that then lead to success. To get to the “YES”, first you have to hear some “NO”. Those negative answers will allow us to grow and improve.

We need to understand the importance of both sides of the equation: Due to negative answers and eventual rejection situations, we will understand that this a natural part of the process of creation and improvement. Thanks to those “NO”, we will understand how to get the “YES”, that positive answer that we were hoping.

If we manage to understand that the “YES” and the “NO” are a complement, we wouldn’t be so scared of negative answers. The only way to improve and innovate is to accept this fact.

So, the next time you have something to ask, some project to do or something to fight for, remember that you read this post and that negative answers are the fuel you need to create positive answers.

Don´t let your environment, society or what you heard from your ninth grade teacher stop you from achieving your goals…